Stolen Hardcore from Mayfield

[pain_split]

They have a meme going right now so I'm just going to leave this RIGHT HERE. Cause LAWL.

"Go here and play Oregon Trail online! Then leave a comment telling a running commentary on the crazy hijinks your wagon party has been up to, add your own little 'spin' to it, tell a story, etc if you want.

Obviously the sillier the wagon parties, the more fun it will become!

IF you don't want to play THAT version ,you can also play a more modern version where your characters are on a roadtrip! Here!"



OH I AM SO EXCITE.

Comments

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One of the Oxen get injured on the trip and Raz attempts to make it feel better by feeding it flowers (baw). Almost right after they find an abandoned wagon. Bri tells everyone not to go in it, but Dist almost DIVE INTO IT and finds an extra set of clothing, the most fashionable tihng you could probably ever find in a wagon as well. He tells everyone that he found it, so it's his.

Bri rolls her eyes and then suddenly gets EXHAUSTION. SHE ROLLED HER EYES TOO HARD YOU GUYS. They get to a rough trail, which Dist rolls his eyes too. They reach Snake River Crossing and Jade tells Bri and Raz TO STAY IN THE WAGON. Dist and he go to investigate the area. A trader offers them a wagon wheel for an axel, but they brush it off.

They now have to cross the river WHICH IS 1000 FEET ACROSS AND 6 FEET DEEP. Jade and Dist give each other a look of "Oh shit." Dist looks at their 3 dollars and offers it to an Indian to help them. He laughs at the money and says he wants 3 sets of clothing instead. They have 9 at this point. Jade simply looks at Dist and he whines and whines, until they manage to convince him LIVING IS WORTH MORE THAN CLOTHES.

They attempt to cross the river. WHICH THEY DO WITH NO ISSUE! HOORAY! Dist tries to convince the indian he doesn't need all those cloths. But he simply leaves, leaving Dist THE SADDEST PANDA EVER.

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The second they get onto the road, BRI DIES.

JUST FALLS OVER DEAD. THEY LITERALLY JUST GOT STARTED AND SHE DIES.

:|

Jade, Dist and Raz bury her and are sad pandas. They forge on and continue down a rather rough trail, the Wagon tongue BREAKS. Dist and Jade attempt to fix it, while Raz watches, but to no avail. They replace it with one of the spares. WHICH MAKES THEM MISS BRI MORE BECAUSE SHE WAS THE ONE THAT ALWAYS WANTED SPARE PARTS (sad forever).

They then manage to get lost in some heavy fog and loose a day of travel. ONE OF THE OXEN ALSO DIES. AND THEN THEY REACH AN IMPASSIBLE TRAIL, IN WHICH THEY LOSE 2 DAYS.

AND THEN
RAZ BREAKS AN ARM, I WILL ASSUME THIS WAS EITHER FLOWER OR BUTTERFLY RELATED.

BAH

OMG

AND THEN, THE LOSE THE TRAIL, AND LOSE 5 DAYS OF TRAVEL, ONLY 6 MILES OUTSIDE THE FORT.

BRI WHY DID YOU DIE, THEY ARE LOST WITHOUT YOU FOREVER.

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They get to Fort Boise. And Jade quickly realizes they only have 28 lbs of food left. They attempt to trade for some, but the only willing emigrant wants 117 lbs of food, which they don't have at all. Dist tells the guy that he is dumb and the man gives him the finger. It's all very messy.

They leave and head for the Blue Mountians. Raz manages to find some Wild Fruits, even though Jade has told him not to leave the wagon IN FEAR OF CHOLREA AND SNAKEBITES. OH AND HIS ARM IS STILL BROKEN.

Jade goes hunting: for about a week and can only manage to get a squirrel and a rabbit. Dist tells him that he he doesn't kill him a bear then he will be pissed. The last day, he manages to find a bear and kills it. Moar bear jerky for Dist!

Back on the road, Raz is given the reigns and while Jade nods off, they manage to get lost down the wrong trail and lose 4 days of travel. Dist casually mentions that maybe a 10 year old shouldn't be in charge of the wagon.

The next night a thief comes and steals 73 lbs of food. Dist is not pleased, all of his bear jerky, GONE. The next night one of their oxen is stolen :| Dist is convinced that it is some sort of conspiracy and mentions to Jade that he wants to borrow the gun TO HUNT HIM DOWN. He is denied and they carry on.

They reach some water, but it is totally awful. But Raz, again, wanders off and finds some wild fruits. Dist is pleased. Its the toward the end of September and they lose another day in some heavy fog. Dist steals the gun and decides to go hunting, since Jade never manages to replace ALL the food they lost. He manages a single dear, and protests to staying another night and shoots nothing. Jade pressures everyone into pressing on.

Raz's arm looks almost healed and they carry on, reaching the Blue Mountains.

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The beginning of October and they reach the Blue Mountains. And the trading is scarce and they realize they don't really need anything but more food at this point. They are fairly close to Oregon and have two choices: Fort Walla Walla, The Dalles. Raz says the Walla Walla sounds funny, so they decide to head toward The Dalles.

They reach about 20 lbs of food, when Dist goes hunting again: he plops himself in the center of trees and CANNOT SHOOT OUT OF THEM. A BEAR LITERALLY RUNS PAST HIM BUT HE CANNOT SHOOT IT. OH GOD TREES WHY DO YOU SUCK.

Jade takes the gun back and the next day and cannot get anything either. Raz then takes the gun while the two are napping and kills a squirrel.

Dist takes the gun AGAIN and returns with AGAIN NOTHING. Jade tries to go hunting the next day (with only 2 lbs of food left :|) and kills one bunny, getting 3 lbs of meat. The next day RAZ TAKES THE GUN AGAIN (OH GOD WHY CAN'T THEY GET ANY MEAT D8) AND AGAIN RETURNS WITH NOTHING.

Dist says enough is enough and tries a third time to kill something LARGE. He manages a squirrel, a giant bear literally runs up to him and then into the woods so fast, he had no clue what the hell had happened. A deer also sneaked up behind him and then ran off. Dist cursed the heavens in his meat conquest. He gives up and tells Jade to just shoot him.

Jade marches back into the woods, he says he wont be returning until he's killed something substainable. He is gone for 1 day,he retunrs with 100 lbs of bear meat, and tells everyone that he managed to kill 2 bears. Dist screams at the heavns for taungint them, and with the meat they carry on.

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Raz gets bit by a snake, and then not even the next day, breaks his leg.

:|

I don't even know anymore. Not to mention they get to some bad water, and a rough trail. But they finally make it to The Dalles.

AND MY GAME RESTARTED ITSELF BECAUSE I HAVE A STUPID ADWARE THING THAT REFRESHED MY TAB AND KILLED MY GAME

:| FOREVER.

I WILL ASSUME THAT JADE CARRIES DIST AND RAZ TO OREGON AND THEY HAVE A FARM AND IT IS FANTASTIC.

ALSO BRI AND MILLA WERE ACTUALLY ALIVE THE WHOLE TIME AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER

8|