Stolen Hardcore from Mayfield

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They have a meme going right now so I'm just going to leave this RIGHT HERE. Cause LAWL.

"Go here and play Oregon Trail online! Then leave a comment telling a running commentary on the crazy hijinks your wagon party has been up to, add your own little 'spin' to it, tell a story, etc if you want.

Obviously the sillier the wagon parties, the more fun it will become!

IF you don't want to play THAT version ,you can also play a more modern version where your characters are on a roadtrip! Here!"



OH I AM SO EXCITE.

Comments

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The next spot on the trip is South Pass. They reach it in almost no time, but the realize that they are running out of water and there is inadequate grass for the Oxen (Dist mentions this about 3 or 4 times).

Dist jumps off the wagon and screams out if anyone wants to trade. Everyone looks at him and simply leaves the pass, no one wanted to trade with him. Dist is sad, but Raz consuls him with a flower.

Bri and Jade yell for him to get back into the wagon because they weren't even planning on stopping.

They leave for Fort Bridger, and Bri mentions that they are starting to run out of food. Dist starts to panic but they forget to change their rations. They run out of water when and another Ox wanders off. Dist blames it on the lack of water and the heat.

They run out of food before they reach the Fort, about 60 miles away. Jade goes to eat some of the Wild Fruit he found and realizes they are all rotten. He runs into the store and buys 120 lbs of food, leaving them with only 3 dollars left. Jade takes the food and sets up a ration system, which Bri mentions they should have done a long time ago. He mentions that everyone will get a meal a day, and they they will probably all stay fairly hungry.

Dist is not please.

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Soda springs is next, and the food is being rationed well. They still don't have a lot of water and the food is low. About a 100 miles outside soda springs, Bri contracts cholera. Dist tells her to stay away from him, but Raz does his best to take care of her.

THEY ARE SO SWEET :|

Dist manages to catch exhaustion, which is astonishing to Jade because he has barely lifted a finger for the past month.

Raz tries to play nurse to the two, but with the lack of water in the area they are traveling through, its gets rough. During a breif HALLUCIANATION, Bri wanders out of the Wagon and manages to get a snakebite. Things don't look good, everyone is feeling the heat of the summer.

Bri manages to wander off AGAIN, falling out of the wagon and BREAKING HER ARM. LET ME REMIND YOU SHE ALSO HAS CHOLERA AND A SNAKE BITE. HOW IS SHE STILL ALIVE. WTF.

Dist calls Jade a Nazi for rationing their food. Raz picks more flowers :|

THEN AN AXEL BREAKS. Bri attempts to help Jade fix it, and Dist simply looks on saying "Inadequate grass". Jade manages to fix the wagon axle \o/ and the carry on.

Jade also decides its time to hunt for some food. He kills a single rabbit and gets 4 lbs of meat. Dist tell him to turn around and go back BECAUSE THAT IS NOT ENOUGH SIR. Though a trader comes by and mentions how much he likes Dist's jacket that Bri bought him. He offers them 31 lbs of food for it and Dist literally throws the jacket at him

SUCCESS! HE HAS MANAGED TO TRADE! Jade returns with a squirrel, producing 2 lbs on meat. He mentions he saw a Bear and Dist takes the gun and manages to kill it, and a rabbit. He tries to bring back the 189 lbs of meat, but can only carry 100 lbs back. Jade is amazed and Bri, in a snakebite/cholera/broken arm delirium, takes the gun and runs into the woods and returns an hour later with nothing.

Raz takes the gun, thinking that they are all taking turns, returns with a deer and mentions how a bear walked RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM but he was so scared he didn't shoot it.

Dist takes the gun again and shoots a Deer, a bear and a squirrel. He can only drag back 100 lbs of the meat, but he grabs Jade and tells him to raise their rationing.

They rest for the day and eat like kings.

MEAT!

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Dist kills another deer the next morning, mentioning that it was stupid that they spent all their money on, Bri reminds him that he was the one that spent all the money, and that she is also feeling much better.

About two more days into the journey, they come across some bad water and Bri gets Cholera. AGAIN. The rest of them dump out their water. They reach Soda Springs with less trouble. Dist attempts to trade agains since he did so well last time. A man asks for 167 bullets in return for a wagon wheel. Dist tells him to get out of town and eats some bear jerky.

They continue on the trail, their next stop Fort Hall. There is little grass and water, and they run across some bad water right before they reach Fort Hall. Dist attempts to trade again: but can find no one that wants to trade. They continue on the trail to Snakes River Crossing.

Dist does not want to go :|

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One of the Oxen get injured on the trip and Raz attempts to make it feel better by feeding it flowers (baw). Almost right after they find an abandoned wagon. Bri tells everyone not to go in it, but Dist almost DIVE INTO IT and finds an extra set of clothing, the most fashionable tihng you could probably ever find in a wagon as well. He tells everyone that he found it, so it's his.

Bri rolls her eyes and then suddenly gets EXHAUSTION. SHE ROLLED HER EYES TOO HARD YOU GUYS. They get to a rough trail, which Dist rolls his eyes too. They reach Snake River Crossing and Jade tells Bri and Raz TO STAY IN THE WAGON. Dist and he go to investigate the area. A trader offers them a wagon wheel for an axel, but they brush it off.

They now have to cross the river WHICH IS 1000 FEET ACROSS AND 6 FEET DEEP. Jade and Dist give each other a look of "Oh shit." Dist looks at their 3 dollars and offers it to an Indian to help them. He laughs at the money and says he wants 3 sets of clothing instead. They have 9 at this point. Jade simply looks at Dist and he whines and whines, until they manage to convince him LIVING IS WORTH MORE THAN CLOTHES.

They attempt to cross the river. WHICH THEY DO WITH NO ISSUE! HOORAY! Dist tries to convince the indian he doesn't need all those cloths. But he simply leaves, leaving Dist THE SADDEST PANDA EVER.

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The second they get onto the road, BRI DIES.

JUST FALLS OVER DEAD. THEY LITERALLY JUST GOT STARTED AND SHE DIES.

:|

Jade, Dist and Raz bury her and are sad pandas. They forge on and continue down a rather rough trail, the Wagon tongue BREAKS. Dist and Jade attempt to fix it, while Raz watches, but to no avail. They replace it with one of the spares. WHICH MAKES THEM MISS BRI MORE BECAUSE SHE WAS THE ONE THAT ALWAYS WANTED SPARE PARTS (sad forever).

They then manage to get lost in some heavy fog and loose a day of travel. ONE OF THE OXEN ALSO DIES. AND THEN THEY REACH AN IMPASSIBLE TRAIL, IN WHICH THEY LOSE 2 DAYS.

AND THEN
RAZ BREAKS AN ARM, I WILL ASSUME THIS WAS EITHER FLOWER OR BUTTERFLY RELATED.

BAH

OMG

AND THEN, THE LOSE THE TRAIL, AND LOSE 5 DAYS OF TRAVEL, ONLY 6 MILES OUTSIDE THE FORT.

BRI WHY DID YOU DIE, THEY ARE LOST WITHOUT YOU FOREVER.

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They get to Fort Boise. And Jade quickly realizes they only have 28 lbs of food left. They attempt to trade for some, but the only willing emigrant wants 117 lbs of food, which they don't have at all. Dist tells the guy that he is dumb and the man gives him the finger. It's all very messy.

They leave and head for the Blue Mountians. Raz manages to find some Wild Fruits, even though Jade has told him not to leave the wagon IN FEAR OF CHOLREA AND SNAKEBITES. OH AND HIS ARM IS STILL BROKEN.

Jade goes hunting: for about a week and can only manage to get a squirrel and a rabbit. Dist tells him that he he doesn't kill him a bear then he will be pissed. The last day, he manages to find a bear and kills it. Moar bear jerky for Dist!

Back on the road, Raz is given the reigns and while Jade nods off, they manage to get lost down the wrong trail and lose 4 days of travel. Dist casually mentions that maybe a 10 year old shouldn't be in charge of the wagon.

The next night a thief comes and steals 73 lbs of food. Dist is not pleased, all of his bear jerky, GONE. The next night one of their oxen is stolen :| Dist is convinced that it is some sort of conspiracy and mentions to Jade that he wants to borrow the gun TO HUNT HIM DOWN. He is denied and they carry on.

They reach some water, but it is totally awful. But Raz, again, wanders off and finds some wild fruits. Dist is pleased. Its the toward the end of September and they lose another day in some heavy fog. Dist steals the gun and decides to go hunting, since Jade never manages to replace ALL the food they lost. He manages a single dear, and protests to staying another night and shoots nothing. Jade pressures everyone into pressing on.

Raz's arm looks almost healed and they carry on, reaching the Blue Mountains.

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The beginning of October and they reach the Blue Mountains. And the trading is scarce and they realize they don't really need anything but more food at this point. They are fairly close to Oregon and have two choices: Fort Walla Walla, The Dalles. Raz says the Walla Walla sounds funny, so they decide to head toward The Dalles.

They reach about 20 lbs of food, when Dist goes hunting again: he plops himself in the center of trees and CANNOT SHOOT OUT OF THEM. A BEAR LITERALLY RUNS PAST HIM BUT HE CANNOT SHOOT IT. OH GOD TREES WHY DO YOU SUCK.

Jade takes the gun back and the next day and cannot get anything either. Raz then takes the gun while the two are napping and kills a squirrel.

Dist takes the gun AGAIN and returns with AGAIN NOTHING. Jade tries to go hunting the next day (with only 2 lbs of food left :|) and kills one bunny, getting 3 lbs of meat. The next day RAZ TAKES THE GUN AGAIN (OH GOD WHY CAN'T THEY GET ANY MEAT D8) AND AGAIN RETURNS WITH NOTHING.

Dist says enough is enough and tries a third time to kill something LARGE. He manages a squirrel, a giant bear literally runs up to him and then into the woods so fast, he had no clue what the hell had happened. A deer also sneaked up behind him and then ran off. Dist cursed the heavens in his meat conquest. He gives up and tells Jade to just shoot him.

Jade marches back into the woods, he says he wont be returning until he's killed something substainable. He is gone for 1 day,he retunrs with 100 lbs of bear meat, and tells everyone that he managed to kill 2 bears. Dist screams at the heavns for taungint them, and with the meat they carry on.

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Raz gets bit by a snake, and then not even the next day, breaks his leg.

:|

I don't even know anymore. Not to mention they get to some bad water, and a rough trail. But they finally make it to The Dalles.

AND MY GAME RESTARTED ITSELF BECAUSE I HAVE A STUPID ADWARE THING THAT REFRESHED MY TAB AND KILLED MY GAME

:| FOREVER.

I WILL ASSUME THAT JADE CARRIES DIST AND RAZ TO OREGON AND THEY HAVE A FARM AND IT IS FANTASTIC.

ALSO BRI AND MILLA WERE ACTUALLY ALIVE THE WHOLE TIME AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER

8|