pain_split (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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bohren_ooc2010-09-30 03:19 pm
pain_split) wrote in bohren_ooc2010-09-30 03:19 pm
Stolen Hardcore from Mayfield
They have a meme going right now so I'm just going to leave this RIGHT HERE. Cause LAWL.
"Go here and play Oregon Trail online! Then leave a comment telling a running commentary on the crazy hijinks your wagon party has been up to, add your own little 'spin' to it, tell a story, etc if you want.
Obviously the sillier the wagon parties, the more fun it will become!
IF you don't want to play THAT version ,you can also play a more modern version where your characters are on a roadtrip! Here!"
OH I AM SO EXCITE.
"Go here and play Oregon Trail online! Then leave a comment telling a running commentary on the crazy hijinks your wagon party has been up to, add your own little 'spin' to it, tell a story, etc if you want.
Obviously the sillier the wagon parties, the more fun it will become!
IF you don't want to play THAT version ,you can also play a more modern version where your characters are on a roadtrip! Here!"
OH I AM SO EXCITE.
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Then Jade shoots another bison and a squirrel. Now even Tarvek is fangirling it up a little. Dist learns him better by yanking his ponytail and shrieking. Jade puts them on meager rations while he hunts so their meat intake greatly exceeds their consumption; everyone complains until he brings him another bison. Then no one really says anything. :|
Jade proceeds to bring home at least one bison's worth of meat every day for a week. Never question him again. He is a murder machine and these people will learn to respect that.
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It takes twenty minutes to get Dist out of the mud, and the rest of the day for him to whine and bitch about his clothing. :|
A wagon axle breaks as soon as they start traveling again. Shockingly, Jade can't manage to fix it, but this is why they have spares! Or, well, the one spare. Another fort is coming up soon, and Jade makes a note to buy another.
They reach Fort Kearney just as March is ending, which as far as Jade is concerned is amazing time for this group. He buys 40 bullets and another axle. Dist and Tarvek both petition for new sets of clothing but are DENIED.
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If anyone goes hungry on this trip, it ain't Jade's fault.
They make it all the way past Chimney Rock and to Fort Laramie - and Disc Two - without a single issue. Jade's experience with Dist has apparently made him a MASTER DIVA WRANGLER, because everyone is behaving wonderfully.
I think they're just terrified of Jade Curtiss, BISON SLAYER.
Jade buys another 20 bullets and some 200 pounds of food, just because their finances are in excellent shape and he knows that they've probably left bison country by now, which means not as much easy food to hunt. From now on? HE KILLS BEARS.
no subject
As they continue, they begin traveling through desert country where there's little water to be had. Their health drops to fair, and Jade allows for some rest while he does some trading. He trades one of their two spare axles for a bit of food, just because.
Once they continue, a thief comes in the night and steals five sets of clothing. Dist's screech can be heard from SPACE. Milla sways off the trail while Dist and Tarvek throw their respective fashion tantrums and finds some wild fruit! Jade considers this adequate repayment. DIST AND TARVEK DISAGREE STRIDENTLY.
The trail splits, and Jade decides to detour long enough to go to Fort Bridger. He needs to replace Dist and Tarvek's clothes or they're all going to have migraines for the rest of the trip. :/
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Sadly, he is no longer as successful a hunter as he once was; there are indeed no more bison, and the terrain has become terrible, meaning he hardly ever has a clear shot at anything. Nonetheless, he comes back with several deer and a bear, because even Jade at his worst is pretty badass. :|b With more food, Jade puts the rations back to normal and they continue on to the fort. More food is bought, as well as four sets of clothing("But he stole five!" "Yes, but we picked up one on the road, so that was extra." "...BUT CLOTHES! ;A; " "Do I have to get the bison gun?").
On the road again, the wagon tongue breaks. Tarvek declares he'll handle this, because he is totally down with tongue action. And, amazingly, he fixes it! Dist huffs furiously when Jade seems approving of this.
...then another thief comes and steals EIGHT SETS OF CLOTHING. Which is to say, all but two people wake up naked. Dist's scream is the stuff of legends. Glass breaks. Wood warps. Small animals fall over dead. Jade and Milla keep the two remaining sets of clothing - "for modesty", as Jade puts it. Armonde declares Jade a dictator. Jade reminds Armonde what dictators do to dissenters....with a smile.
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They manage to reach Fort Hall without further incident, in the rain; go ahead and fix the mental image of Armonde, Tarvek, and Dist running into town alongside the wagon, dripping wet and stark naked in your mind. I'll wait while you're in therapy. Jade buys some more food and replaces the clothing again.
Milla forages some wild fruit as soon as they leave. Jade declares her officially the most useful member of the party besides himself...especially when the wagon tongue breaks again and Tarvek can't repeat his success repairing it.
A thief steals 43 pounds of food in the night. Dist declares that at least their clothes are safe.
The thief returns again, just to spite Dist, and steals six oxen...leaving only two. The pace slows to a painful crawl while Jade curses and sets Armonde on guard duty.
One of the remaining oxen gets injured. Before Jade can even rest it, it wanders off, costing them a day of travel. Then Tarvek insists on trying his luck with the map again and gets them lost for another day. Suddenly, all of Jade's best laid plans are falling apart. :/
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The party stumbles - or staggers - across an abandoned wagon with three sets of clothing. MORALE SOARS.
Given their slow pace with their two remaining oxen, Jade tries to find someone to trade them another, to no avail. So he sets food rations to meager, since it's going to take them awhile to reach the next fort at this rate.
Time to cross the Snake River! Jade gives their three spare sets of clothing to an Indian to help them across, over strenuous protests. Dist declares he will hate Jade forever! This may be the seven hundredth such declaration.
Only a couple days out from the river, one of their two oxen dies. Then they hit an impassable trail that stalls them for nine days. Then Armonde comes down with measles. Jade just...closes his eyes and makes his peace with death.
no subject
Jade manages to trade nearly two hundred pounds of their dwindling food for another ox, on the basis that they can get to the next fort to buy more oxes and food faster this way. Dist comes down with a fever immediately afterwards. Jade...just...sighs. And goes hunting again. Milla finds some more wild fruit to help out.
They finally reach the fort, where Jade immediately replenishes their oxen and their food...but they've got very little money left, so they can't afford for anything else to go wrong.
Immediately out of the fort, Dist contracts the measles. Jade briefly considers taking up religion.
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Dist and Tarvek sulk for days.
They make it to the Columbia River! Finances being what they are, Jade can't afford to take them along the toll road, so they float down the river.
...aaaaaand then the game reset. :| HOWEVER, they didn't crash, and presumably would have made it to Oregon at the end with no further loss of life or limb or clothing! Jade, however, probably went incurably insane.
no subject