Stolen Hardcore from Mayfield

[pain_split]

They have a meme going right now so I'm just going to leave this RIGHT HERE. Cause LAWL.

"Go here and play Oregon Trail online! Then leave a comment telling a running commentary on the crazy hijinks your wagon party has been up to, add your own little 'spin' to it, tell a story, etc if you want.

Obviously the sillier the wagon parties, the more fun it will become!

IF you don't want to play THAT version ,you can also play a more modern version where your characters are on a roadtrip! Here!"



OH I AM SO EXCITE.

Comments

[in_dignation]

Jade, at some point, makes the mistake of giving Tarvek the map back - perhaps as a reward for fixing the wagon tongue. Tarvek gets them lost for five days this time, and the map is confiscated once more. Milla finds more wild fruit, however, so it's not a total loss.

They manage to reach Fort Hall without further incident, in the rain; go ahead and fix the mental image of Armonde, Tarvek, and Dist running into town alongside the wagon, dripping wet and stark naked in your mind. I'll wait while you're in therapy. Jade buys some more food and replaces the clothing again.

Milla forages some wild fruit as soon as they leave. Jade declares her officially the most useful member of the party besides himself...especially when the wagon tongue breaks again and Tarvek can't repeat his success repairing it.

A thief steals 43 pounds of food in the night. Dist declares that at least their clothes are safe.

The thief returns again, just to spite Dist, and steals six oxen...leaving only two. The pace slows to a painful crawl while Jade curses and sets Armonde on guard duty.

One of the remaining oxen gets injured. Before Jade can even rest it, it wanders off, costing them a day of travel. Then Tarvek insists on trying his luck with the map again and gets them lost for another day. Suddenly, all of Jade's best laid plans are falling apart. :/

[in_dignation]

Tarvek will not give up on this determination to earn his Orienteering merit badge. Another three day detour is lost to this madness. Jade may have given up by this point.

The party stumbles - or staggers - across an abandoned wagon with three sets of clothing. MORALE SOARS.

Given their slow pace with their two remaining oxen, Jade tries to find someone to trade them another, to no avail. So he sets food rations to meager, since it's going to take them awhile to reach the next fort at this rate.

Time to cross the Snake River! Jade gives their three spare sets of clothing to an Indian to help them across, over strenuous protests. Dist declares he will hate Jade forever! This may be the seven hundredth such declaration.

Only a couple days out from the river, one of their two oxen dies. Then they hit an impassable trail that stalls them for nine days. Then Armonde comes down with measles. Jade just...closes his eyes and makes his peace with death.

[in_dignation]

Jade tries going hunting while they wait for Armonde to recover, but between poor terrain and scant wildlife Jade only manages to catch about 60 pounds in two days. Milla finds some wild fruit, possibly in an attempt to cheer Jade up, but since Tarvek comes down with a fever immediately afterwards, this doesn't work.

Jade manages to trade nearly two hundred pounds of their dwindling food for another ox, on the basis that they can get to the next fort to buy more oxes and food faster this way. Dist comes down with a fever immediately afterwards. Jade...just...sighs. And goes hunting again. Milla finds some more wild fruit to help out.

They finally reach the fort, where Jade immediately replenishes their oxen and their food...but they've got very little money left, so they can't afford for anything else to go wrong.

Immediately out of the fort, Dist contracts the measles. Jade briefly considers taking up religion.

[in_dignation]

A lot of hunting is done, but thanks to being trapped in poor terrain, Jade has almost nothing to show for it. Then a fire strikes the wagon - Jade is fairly certain it's the gods trying to smite him personally - but all that's lost is two sets of clothing.

Dist and Tarvek sulk for days.

They make it to the Columbia River! Finances being what they are, Jade can't afford to take them along the toll road, so they float down the river.

...aaaaaand then the game reset. :| HOWEVER, they didn't crash, and presumably would have made it to Oregon at the end with no further loss of life or limb or clothing! Jade, however, probably went incurably insane.

[sivalesvendetta]

No, no, give me back the map, I think I know where we are--