Stolen Hardcore from Mayfield

[pain_split]

They have a meme going right now so I'm just going to leave this RIGHT HERE. Cause LAWL.

"Go here and play Oregon Trail online! Then leave a comment telling a running commentary on the crazy hijinks your wagon party has been up to, add your own little 'spin' to it, tell a story, etc if you want.

Obviously the sillier the wagon parties, the more fun it will become!

IF you don't want to play THAT version ,you can also play a more modern version where your characters are on a roadtrip! Here!"



OH I AM SO EXCITE.

Comments

[sheikahguide]

Because Sheik is an antisocial twat, he is... travelling only with his Pokemon. Go Sheik. Starting out from Goldenrod Boston, it's him and...

1. Sheik
2. Shadow the Umbreon
3. Leaf the Meganium
4. Dusk the Absol
5. Bacon the Piloswine

If all else fails, they can just eat Bacon.

One March day, they head off... with the following:

6 oxen
1400 pounds of food (have you seen how much a Piloswine can eat?
8 sets of clothing (mostly scarves)
10 boxes of bullets
3 wheels, 2 tongues, and 2 axles - be prepared!

And it's time to be off!

[sheikahguide]

Wow, okay. This map is far more vast than Johto. Well, there'll be plenty of Pokemon Centres on the way, right? ...Right?

Seven days in, and... absolutely nothing has happened. GOOD SHOW. But there's a river and it's rainy - let's see if Sheik manages to cock this one up!

Hmm. It's deep. Let's wait a day.

...It's deeper. Okay, we're caulking this thing - the ferry is a whole five dollars, Arceus. Remarkably, no one dies. Hurrah!

I mean. Aside from BOREDOM.

[sheikahguide]

Eleven days in, and poor Shadow is exhausted. Well, stop wandering off to stare at the moon, then :|

Another river! This one's only three and a half feet, so let's ford this shit.

...Oops. Um. Sorry, Shadow, we'll miss you ;_; The two wagon axles and 139 pounds of food, not so much. Sheik stops for like four days to mourn. Stupid Umbreon.

And now one of the oxen is injured? Stupid thing, do your job!

HEY, WILD FRUIT. You know who liked wild fruit? ...Shadow ;_;

[sheikahguide]

Well, it's the first fort. We can replace the axles and the food, but we can't replace Shadow ;_;

The wagon has broken its tongue. Sheik tries to fix it and fails horribly.

Rest break at Chimney Rock. Sheik sulks for a while, the rest of the Pokes go, "Sod this for a lark" and bugger off to socialise. ...Entire parties starving? Planning for the worse? It'll be okay, Aunt Rebecca Sims, we can always just eat Bacon.

(Bacon: "Hey :(")

Off to the next fort. Absolutely nothing happens.

[sheikahguide]

And off again. After a month and a half of travelling, Dusk gets typhoid. I didn't even know Absols got typhoid!

Landmark is visible! It's a blob.

Aunt Rebecca Sims mentions graves. Sheik runs off to cry.

Very little water, very little grass. Sucks to be an oxen.

Now then, fort or river? Sheik, in a moment of recklessness, decides on the river. Shadow loved rivers ;_;

It goes brilliantly, of course. An ox wanders off and they're lost for two days.

Finally, they're at the river. Everyone is in bad health (possibly from the bad water), so let's rest a bit. Like, say, a week.

[sheikahguide]

Twenty feet deep. You know what, let's NOT try to ford it. Ferry it is! (Maybe a ferry would have saved Shadow ;_; )

Off to Soda Springs!

Bacon has a fever. You might say he's...

Frying up.

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

And two days after that bad joke, Bacon is now... bacon. Well shit. And they were nearly at Soda Springs, too!

Let's... wait here a while, huh?

[sheikahguide]

After a week, it's off to the next fort. Dammit, they're getting more food there. Meager meals suck!

...At least, it'd help if they didn't get the wrong trail and lose a whole five days. Sheik, your navigation has sucked since the loss of Shadow.

Someone wants two sets of clothing for an ox. Well, shit, not like anyone else needs them. It's just Sheik, the flowersaur, and the forebringer of doom.

Leaf has measles. WHAT THE HELL. HOW DOES A FLOWERSAUR GET MEASLES.

On the plus side, abandoned wagon with... a wagon tongue. GOODIE.

Wow, guys, we should have never left Goldenrod Boston :(

[sheikahguide]

Aside from THE FLOWERSAUR GETTING MEASLES and a whole wagon tongue, absolutely nothing happens on this route.

Well, there's a river. Hired help for two sets of clothing? Hell, works for them. And across they go! Next stop - Fort Boise. Boise is such a weird name.

Now Dusk has measles. Flowersaur, forebringer of doom, stop it :|

...Leaf has measles AGAIN.

And one of the oxen has died. Way to go. Good thing we had a spare, huh?

Yeah, we're staying in Fort Boise for a week and a half because of the sickies. You know, we're already into October and still have mountains to traverse. It's getting cold! (Wish someone would tell Tucson that. Last day of September and it's 104 degrees.)

[sheikahguide]

We break a wagon axle. Miraculously, Sheik can fix it.

Blue Mountains! You know, there's Blue Mountains two hours west of Sydney.

And time to split! Well, health is actually good, so let's get going straight for the Dalles. Be KIND OF nice if they get to Oregon before the snow!

WE'RE NEARLY HERE, GUYS. And the weather is warm, which is really freaking weird for Oregon in November. Seriously? We're lazy buggers, so the toll road it is... assuming no one else dies in the next hundred miles.

Dusk has measles. IT'S A RACE.

Five days lost to an impassable trail, but they're NEARLY THERE...

OREGON GET.

Well, that was fun. And only two people died!